If you have poo, fling it now.

Digits. Two. Zero. One. One. Two thousand and eleven, which sounds more serious. Serious like an actual year. A year with some tough life lessons. My year in review?  Meh, you have it all amongst these pages. I just want to make it pass January 18th, not fall down and see what the other side of that feels like to wear.  Naked Emperor, indeed. What's curious to me, besides that last sentence, is this blog. I had no idea it would interest anyone else but myself (and maybe Pixarian.)  But there you all are, day after day checking to see if I have made a new entry, encouraging me to keep going, saying my hilarity is infectious and not treatable. You've been Awesome-fied!! I have a few things up my sleeve concerning this forum for 2012. Mischief is brewing. So thank you for taking this ride with me. Thank you Latvia, Russia, England, Denmark, Sweden, Canada, USA, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Kazakhstan... Happiest of Poo Flinging 2012 to all of you.

Happy Holidays. I'm cool with that sentence. The problem I have is with the whole "do not say Christmas, don't do it, just don't."  For the love of the PC god! December 25th is Christmas people. That's when supposedly the baby Jaysus stuck in some itchy hay got three shitty gifts from kings who were lost following the wrong cardinal point star and now we must repent forever by buying crap at Walmart. Yeah, that's what it said in the bible, 3 shitty gifts. If one wants to wish me a Happy Hanukkah as I leave a store, I'd be thrilled as well! It's the thought behind the sentence. If I didn't celebrate Christmas, which I'm not sure I'm doing it right anyway, and someone wished me anything but harm, and go with an enthusiastic "Thank you, you too!" "Happiest of Kwanzaa Ma'am!" "Right back at ya kid, don't call me ma'am." And you just know Bhuddha hisself in his festive sandals would be

2011 has taught me a lot. I mean tons. I mean I am standing here near its end and I do not need to learn one more single thing. Nope, I'm full thanks. I'm actually scared of typing that, I'm sure the roof will cave in or my neck will crack a certain way and I'll be leaning over gumby-ish for the rest of my days and then where would I be?  I'm not that bendy. If you have been following this blog, you all remember the biblical flood from April to June, you know the whole 70 days of this mayhem: Not that those waves were crashing against my house, that would be insane....Oh wait. No what would be insane is to not evacuate and fight to save the house, who does that? But actually the year started with a whiz banger of a bang in January. For instance, a person learning he has cancer of the liver at noon then passes away at 11:30pm same day - who does that?  SURPRISE! Then who does this, 3 days later, in front of a hundred people at his funeral and doesn't